Difficult surfing

This thought also came to me while meditating:

"Our default way of finding happiness in this world is to obtain or achieve something, derive some satisfaction from it, and then move on and attempt to obtain or achieve the next thing that we assume will provide us with some satisfaction. In other words, we are riding precariously on a moving stream of achievements to find happiness, but we sometimes fall off."

For years I have operated under the assumption that this is the only method of finding happiness that we as humans have available to us.

And I have struggled with it. At times, the surfing was easy; successes rolled in one after another, and there was little time in between to worry about the relatively minor problems in life. Life was good enough. But at times, the waves that life threw at me were treacherous and difficult to read. I was tossed around without direction; I questioned my every thought, felt I was worthless, and thought of happiness as something foreign and useless.

Such is the problem with using a moving stream of achievements as our path to happiness -- sometimes things are just not in our control. In fact, a lot of times. Permanent happiness is far from guaranteed when success is uncertain, and problems continuously arise.

It was only after practicing meditation diligently (and lots of reading) that I came to recognize that there is another way to find happiness, one that does not rely on the ever-fickle external world. Others explain it much better than I could, but I might sum up my understanding of it as the following:

• there is no permanent self that can accrue benefit or loss;
• living for individual achievements will therefore never lead to permanent satisfaction (as there is no permanent self to which those achievements can accrue);
• insight meditation is the path to experiencing the truth of non-self personally;
• through the experience of non-self, pure and complete satisfaction with the present moment is attainable;
• such a happiness is permanent, lasting, and has no external requirements for continuation -- development of positive traits in the mind through meditation are its whole foundation, and cause it to persist throughout life.

While I cannot claim to have achieved such a lofty state, I can claim to be well on my way. Never before in any of my pursuits did I achieve feelings of peace and happiness that even approach what I feel now. However, through this pursuit [meditation], happiness has become a constant companion, even at the dullest or most painful moments in life.

Quit surfing. You'll never find stability. Build yourself an island, and live comfortably on solid ground.