Problems

I had this thought as I meditated under a tree in the parking lot at the AOL building:

"If you don't recognize that problems come from within and not from without, you will have problems all your life.

If you recognize their true origin, you have the potential to eliminate them permanently, one by one"

The explanation of this thought is the following: The problems in our lives appear to always come from the outside -- that person is being mean to me, I'm not getting paid enough by my work, I'm lonely because my friends don't talk to me. However, it is never the external situation on its own that is a problem. If someone is being mean, it only appears that way to us -- they feel completely justified in what they are doing. It's actually my desire to be treated with respect that is causing me anguish. If I feel I'm not getting paid enough, it is actually my dissatisfaction with the pay I'm receiving that is causing me pain. My friends not talking to me is not enough to cause loneliness in itself; it is my unceasing internal need to feel loved by my friends that when unfulfilled is causing me to suffer.

So long as we have strong needs and wants for objects or for circumstances to be a particular way, problems will continue to arise. Even as one problem is solved (I get a raise at work) another arises (I now am dissatisfied with the weather, etc.). So long as we cling to the view that problems are real, absolute, and caused entirely by forces external to our selves, they will never cease to arise. There is no end to problems for such a person.

However, as we begin to recognize that problems have their origin from within and not from without, we have the capacity to eliminate the problems entirely. If I realize that someone being mean to me causes me suffering only because I don't want that person to be mean to me (and not because they are objectively mean), I can work to eliminate that "want" through diligent practice, and I will soon be indifferent towards that person's actions towards me. (Perhaps I can even cultivate a feeling of positivity towards that person!). The same applies for the others: perhaps I can work to alter my strong desire for money, or eliminate the FOMA (fear of missing out) that causes me to suffer when I am alone.

But how can such softening or elimination of desires and fears be accomplished? Through diligent practice of insight meditation. I'll leave that to the experts, but I will explain what I've seen in my own experience. Through the process of observation and mindfulness of my own feelings and thoughts, the solidity of the aforementioned feelings (feeling hurt by others, wanting more money, feeling lonely) has softened tremendously. In fact, I'm now at the point where I can say that when someone offends me, I'm improving to the point where I direct a feeling of love towards them within a few seconds. I'm now at the point where I feel no need for money (besides what is necessary to pay off my school debt, rent, and food). I'm now at the point where I still enjoy the company of friends, but I quickly settle into a feeling of peace when I am alone, and I can savor the joy of silence. Progress comes through practice.

If you don't recognize that problems come from within and not from without, you will have problems all your life.

If you recognize their true origin, you have the potential to eliminate them permanently, one by one